To my father:
Hi Dad. I know it's been a while since I last done this. I just think its weird how time just flies by? Its been 5 years. Your lil bro is married now. I think you would be so proud of him. Grandma Rosebud is still going strong. Something just keep her going. I hope I have all her good genes lol. My lil sis graduated college, and I feel so old lol. I wonder if think of me? Sometimes I wonder if your proud of me? do you miss me? I know things don't always go as planned. Things don't always work out how'd I like and I feel like my life isn't where I thought it would be. I think you were the one who taught me that that's OK. To go with the flow :) and let the music move you. I know miss you.:( . I still wish I had been a better daughter. I wish we had spent more time together. I know its partially my fault. There was still some anger in me. Me wishing you and mom had gotten married and everything would have been great, but who knows if that would have been true. That didn't happen in my case. Honestly I don't know if mom could handle it seeing you sick like that. I know it was hard for me. Life hasn't been easy I wish I had you here just to talk to you know when things got really ruff. It got so hard I just didn't know if I was going to pull thru. Some nights I thought I was going to lose my damn mind(maybe I did). It took a while but the nights got quieter and I got a little less fearful. Yet things got better. I feel like my life is about to take a new chapter. I'm hopefully moving to a new place and I'm seeing someone again. Funny thing is he reminds me of you. I think he was put into my life for a reason. Just don't know what just yet. I just hope things work out. I just thought of you randomly today. You granddaddy, grandma the baby too. How is my lil girl? I always thought she was a feel like she was a lil girl. I always picture you and grandpa watchin here up there just like you would if ya'll were here still. Especially grandma she'd be watchin her like a hawk like she did me lol. She would be 10 now. Is it possible to feel happy and sad all at the same time? I know you guys are happy though up in heaven. Please talk to the big guy upstairs and say a few prayers for me. I need them. Continue to watch over us like I know you have been. I hope I get to see you again one day...I love you guys. random thoughts
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